We all create friendships throughout our lives. We meet with people, engage with them and out of nowhere, a few years later, you realize that you have been friends for a very long time. There is nothing wrong with long term friendships unless they are toxic. People tend to hold on to a friend they have known for a long time, even if that friend is dragging them down. This usually happens, because we are creatures who want security and familiarity, and a long term friendship offers both of these traits.
But when a long term friend is one of the reasons you are feeling drained, then it is the time to step out of the comfort zone and let them go. Here you have five types of friends that you definitely need to let go and the one type that is necessary for your life.
These people will support you at first. They will try to be there at the beginning of your mission and will mask as fans. But they will show their true colors as soon as something will go wrong. As soon as you stumble on something that sets you back, these kinds of people will turn from fans to haters.
They will talk about how they knew that you were going to fail, and they just know that it is not meant to be for you. ‘You simply are not born with this talent’, they will say, projecting their own insecurities about their skills on you.
Almost as bad as the doubters, but with one difference in character… they will let you know from the beginning that they don’t believe in you. Whatever kind of plan, idea, goal or aspiration you have, sharing them with a naysayer is the quickest way to kill them.
These people do everything to belittle you and if you are feeling up, they will hate it so much and will try to bring you down at all costs. They are cynical critics filled with fear that they project into the world.
Nothing is ever right for these people. Whatever happens no matter how great, in their eyes it is still lacking something. The philosopher Alan Watts said once that you never see a misshaped cloud or wave. Well, these people will find fault and error in everything and then complain about it.
In fact, their negative energy is so bad that they will run around talking to different people for the same problem they have, over and over. Instead of looking for a solution, they will only talk about the problem, as if that will solve things.
You know the ones. They always show up late, if at all, miss important meetings, interrupt you in the middle of something important, or just waste their time on the internet. They have no priorities and their life is such a big mess that if you stay with them long enough, you’ll get pulled into that mess.
They never take responsibility for any of these things, (like being late), making up stupid excuses, and then trying to convince you that they actually care about you. They don’t and you are better off without them.
‘Hey look, I just gave one dollar to a homeless person’. This is the worst kind of friend yet. They know it all, do it all, and want all the attention and compliments for themselves. If you try to say something that you are proud that you did, they will die from jealousy until they find a way to cast a shadow to your light.
They usually stay with yes-men, who always agree with them even if they are wrong. You know what they say, if you are the smartest one into the group then either you are being secretly mocked, or you are in the wrong group. Let go of these fake kings.
The Real Ones
They don’t have to be long term friends, and you might have even met them last year. But they sure know how to bring your spirit up when you are down. They are your true fans and wisest critics. They want you to succeed in everything that you do and if you stumble on a setback, they will be there to give you a hand. Never let these people go and if you have found one, keep them as close to you as possible. They are true gems.