As it is exciting at the begging creating a family the excitement becomes daily chores like washing, cleaning, cooking, helping with homework, dealing with financial stress and the long list just goes on and on. You start aging rapidly and you do not even have time to wash and keep yourself looking like you used to in your 20’s. Do you ever feel like those days are long lost and you are stuck in a spiral hole of family duties? That is because you have no time. But working hard on your family does not bring you any justice. Your husband suddenly starts not noticing you and you feel like there is something missing. You begin worrying about your life.
That is exactly what happened to my mom, until I was 13 she stayed at home and worked on the family 24/7 but at that time she started to notice that she was getting treated worse and worse by her husband and he was taking advantage of her well-doing and limiting her privileges. He shouted at her whenever she did not cook well, screamed at her and made her feel worthless. My mom had enough, she started living life by her own rules. It was hard for her because not only the husband but even the kids were mad at her.
She started wearing makup and going to a gym to get fit, after some time she found herself a job. She was so miserable before and so mistreated she just shifted completely. She went out more and more with friends and then one day when I was 17 I realized I was not seeing her anymore, she would come only at night to sleep. She would not take care of us at all. I also realized she had changed drastically, she looked young and wild. It did not seem that I had a mother anymore but more like a sister. But even though she went out and rarely took care of us I started to bond with her better and started to go out with her.
I enjoyed that time so much, we started going to bars and clubs, getting drunk and out of control. We went on long vacations and did not worry about anything. I had never seen my mom and me so full of life. But what started as “ just a little time for me” ended up getting out of control. The family got split in half, me and my mom and my dad and brother. Both pairs started hating each other and we were in a constant war. We could not handle all the stress so my parents divorced and now me and my mother have years without meeting the other half of the family.
You would say that this is all my mother's fault and I agree, she crossed the limit and never stopped her “mom-cations”. That is exactly what my auntie is doing also, she is not stopping her “mom-cations” and that will soon ruin her family too.
I agree time to yourself is important but taking too much time off becomes a habit, and then a habit becomes a lifestyle. If you do not feel happy in your household and you are mistreated you should talk to your husband, go on vacation with your family and if that does not work then agree to split up peacefully and continue doing what really makes you happy.