This life is like a ride where we go up and down and sometimes we are stuck in the middle. This part of our lives is called indecision. Why does it happen? Well, usually we are too insecure to make our own decisions so we end up doing what other people want us to do. These things might not make us happy but we still do them, because we have this illusion that somehow things are going to go our way. Other times we are stuck in indecision because of fear of failure which is mostly based on other people’s opinions.
We are scared to let them down and we are too afraid that if we try and fail we might even lose some people. But we forget one big thing. It’s not about them. It’s about us. They have their life and we have ours. Whether it’s your spouse, your father, your best friend or your boss, you don’t need to wait for other’s people approval to do something that you want to do. If you could just put the fear aside, on the other side you will find something of real value.
If you feel stuck and you feel like you need someone else’s approval for your decisions that means that you have a lack inside of you. Your need to be filled by someone else’s approval because you don’t feel you are worthy enough to fill yourself up. Well, guess what? You are. We all are. We all are enough to fill our cups and just because we are alone doesn’t mean we should feel lonely. I know that your self-esteem might be low and you might not think too big of yourself but trust me when I say to you that you are much more than you think.
Why Should You Stop Seeking Approval
At first, let’s look at this from the logical point of view, shall we.
– This Is Your Life
I don’t know if it has occurred to you yet but this is your life. It’s not their life. It’s your life. It’s not their play, it’s yours. Stop asking for someone else to kick the goal for you. Stop expecting someone else to be the hero of your tale. It is your turn and it is your responsibility to take ownership of whatever you are about to do with your life.
– You Don’t Have Time To Waste
Running around and asking people for this and that can be time-consuming. The time that you can use on something more valuable, you are going to waste on asking for people’s approval. Look at yourself and tell me. Do you have that luxury in your pocket? You could use that time to grab the next option, the next opportunity, the next deal, instead of going around and asking people what is best for you, when only you know what is best for you.
– Freedom of choice
Wouldn’t you like to be your own man or woman? What do I mean by that? I mean, wouldn’t you like to be free and use your free will in the best way possible. You were given free will from God, or the Universe or whoever or whatever created this life for a purpose. For the purpose to use it as you please. When you make that decision yourself you have made a free choice and you don’t own anything to nobody. You are accountable for doing what you did and only you can decide what changes and whatnot.
– You Will Never Please Everyone
Do you know how hard it is to please people? Even if you succeed to find someone willing to give you his or her approval for something that you want to do, do you have any idea how hard it is to please them? They will never agree on everything. There is always going to be something that they will disapprove of and disregard so why even try. You will spend a lot of energy because someone might approve one thing while the other one disapproves of it. Your cousin might want a song from you and your wife might hate you for it.
Now let’s take a look at everything from an emotional point of view.
– You’ll Have More Fear
Searching for other people’s approval will leave you like an inexperienced baby in this cold dark world. You will never get to take your own decisions which means that you will never have to face failure. This will lead to you being afraid of it because you never truly knew what is like to do something yourself and to fail. You always blamed other people for giving you’re their approval, and when you’ll have no one to blame you’ll be paralyzed in fear.
– You Won’t Follow Your Heart
I know that you think other people, older people, might know what is best, but that is absolute nonsense. No one can truly know what the best is for you except your own heart. While you are going about your day, searching for other people’s approval, you are also ignoring the voice of your heart, who is yelling at you to listen. Listen to what is going on inside of you and tell me if it matches what people want you to do.
– You Won’t Be Happy
Imagine taking the driver’s license, failing a lot of times until you finally succeed. Imagine that after that you work hard and save a lot of money to buy yourself the car you have always dreamt of. Then after you have the car, you always let other people drive it for you while you sit on the passenger’s seat. Will you ever get to happy for having that car? Searching for other people’s approval is similar to the example above. In the end, you won’t be happy because you will feel as if it was never your decision.