Have you ever heard the term, gaslighting? If you have ever seen the 1938 stage play called “Gaslight” or the 1960s movie with the same name then you have heard of it. It refers to someone mentally manipulating their partner in their relationship. It is one of the worst forms of mental abuse there is.
If you don't know what gaslighting means in a relationship, let me explain. It is when the person who is supposed to love you, when you are in a committed relationship with that person, but they mentally abuse you by letting you think you are always wrong or that you are losing your mind. Eventually, the gaslighter will take control of you and make you think twice about your own mental stability. This type of mental abuse and mental manipulation is very dangerous for the other person and if you see the 11 signs I am about to talk about, run as fast as you can away from this person for your own good.
Keep reading to learn more about the signs you need to be aware of in a gaslighting relationship.
They Lie About Everything
Although little white lies are common in a relationship, such as when your partner asks you if they look good in the jeans they are wearing or if their hair looks alright, even if you don't think they do or it does, these are little common white lies and don't hurt anyone. These little white lies are used to spare the other person's feelings.
However, when a gaslighter lies, they mean to and they do it harshly. They make you wonder if anything is the truth that they tell you. They do this to throw you off kilter and make you wonder if anything you now believe is true. This is how it all the abuse starts with a gaslighter.
Everyone Else is a Liar
Not only do they lie to you, but they make you believe everyone else around you such as your friends and family are all liars. The gaslighter does this to make you think that your family and friends are all liars and are all wrong about them. This is to bring you on the gaslighter in the relationships side so they can control you better.
They Will Deny Everything
If your family figures out what they are doing to you and try to tell you that you need to get away from them right away, and if you tell them this, they will deny everything. They will keep denying everything that is being said about them and try to keep you on their side.
Their Words And Actions Don't Go Together
If your partner is a gaslighter, they will say one thing and do something totally different. Their words to you and their actions are not compatible with each other. This will make you question their actions and their words even more and will start to confuse you more and more. This is another way to mentally manipulate you and keep control over you.
The Gaslighter Will Attack Your Own Actions
If the person in your life is a gaslighter, they will start to attack your parenting role and the other roles you have in your life. This will make you question whether or not you are doing the right thing in these roles. This is just another way to keep you under their thumb and control you even more.
They Will Take Your Energy
Gaslighters are energy leeches. They will consume all of the energy you have. They will chip away at your confidence and make you feel like you are drained trying to deal with their control every day. This is a major sign to get away as soon as possible so you can take your energy and your life back.
They Won't Be The Villain All The Time
Every once in a while, a gaslighter will throw you a bone here and there. This means they will tell you something nice about yourself that you have been longing to hear from them. They won't be bad for you all the time. However, just because they do throw you a bone towards your confidence every once in a while, does not mean they will keep being nice to you.
They Are Happier When You Are Confused
Living with a gaslighter becomes a never ending cycle. They will break down your confidence, make you feel confused about everything around you, and then they are the only ones there to pick you back up. Then, they shoot you down again, pick you back up again, and over and over, until you stop the control once and for all by leaving them. That is the only thing you can do to stop them, by leaving them behind and going on with your own life.
They Are Very Good at Projection
They will make you think everything is your fault and nothing is your fault. They will make you believe everything you do is wrong and they are right about everything. Then, you become so wrapped up in defending yourself to them and you don't have the energy to figure out what they are actually doing to you.
They Make You Out to Be The Bad Person Every Time
Although they are the bad one, they will make you think you are the bad person every time. Just like they are looking more and more like the true villain, they are making you look like the main villain to everyone around you.
They Will Cut Down Your True Character
The gaslighter in your relationship will destroy your true character in public. They will cut you down and make you look like someone who can't even make their own decisions.
Be careful and watch for these signs of a gaslighter in your relationship. If you think you are in this type of relationship, you need to leave as soon as possible.